After the MBTA suspended rail services through Tuesday, Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker has decided to suspend his governorship until April. Citing the failing MBTA system, an imploding budget, and a desire to sled, Baker held a press conference and admitted, “I didn’t leave the private sector for this.”
A provision in the original Massachusetts Charter of 1691 allows governors to suspend their terms in the case of “indigenous raids, poor personal harvest, loss of livestock, or other extreme circumstances.” The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court deemed that a foot and a half of snow does in fact constitute as an “extreme circumstance.” This marks the first time since Governor Mitt Romney’s suspended governorship, due to the 2003 Red Sox’s ALCS loss to the Yankees, that the judiciary has declared an extreme circumstance. In these situations, ordinarily the lieutenant governor would assume the governorship; however, Lieutenant Governor Karyn Polito is trapped in her snowed-in Western Massachusetts cabin.
The special election will be held on the next day of a snow-caused state of emergency, so probably next Monday. Former attorney general Martha Coakley (D-Mass.) has expressed interest in the vacancy and has reassembled her senatorial and gubernatorial campaign staff. Former Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown (R-Mass., N.H., ???) has re-filed for permanent residency in his Massachusetts home. Speaking to potential donors, Brown asserted, “In these snowy times, Massachusetts needs a leader who can drive to the Statehouse regardless of snow. In these snowy times, Massachusetts needs a leader who owns a pick-up truck.” Both Coakley and Brown have name recognition and a large donor base; however, early indicators point to a new third party candidate.
Tom Brady (P-Mass.) is rumored to be running as a third party candidate. Even though most voters have never heard of the Patriotic Party and know nothing of Brady’s platform, Brady is winning over voters from both sides of the aisle. In an interview, Joe the Dunkin Donuts cashier asked the HPR, “If I trusted Tommy for the past decade why shouldn’t I trust him for two months?” Colleen O’Boyle, an 89 year old Massachusetts resident, told the HPR, “Tom, Giselle, and their kids are the closest thing I’ve seen to Camelot in decades. Heck, I don’t know Brady’s politics, but I want someone who will actually get elected and will stay here for more than two years!”
Voters are seemingly excited about this new candidate, and pundits suggest that they may have a good reason to be. In an interview with the HPR, strategist Bill Belichick said, “Tom just finds a way to win.” Former strategist Pete Carroll, who gave up working for Brady in 1999, also told the HPR, “I should never have passed on Tom, God why did I pass. He wins.” Early reports from the Brady camp suggest just that Belichick’s and Carroll’s words may be true this election. Not even having declared his candidacy yet, Brady has sent out campaign staffers Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola to Boston area colleges to register voters and sign-up campaign volunteers. When the HPR reached out to these staffers about their recent campaigning at Harvard University, they declined to comment.
With a week till the election and three candidates, this race will be close. But, judging from recent performances in 2014 and 2015, we expect Brady to gain the Patriotic Party’s first governorship. When asked for his thoughts on the special election, Baker admitted, “Hell, if Brady had been an option last year, I wouldn’t have run.”
Image Sources: Wikipedia, tpsdave-Pixabay
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