Every four years, the citizens of the United States elect a new president to lead the government and country into what they hope is a brighter future. Given that this is one of the most influential occupations in the world, those who aspire to the White House usually need lifelong preparation and an illustrious career to even get their foot in the door. Thus, when assuming office, the elected president is ready to take on the role and put a lifetime of hard work to the test.
However, although the president and vice president are the only officials formally elected on those November nights, the vote indirectly involves more than those two. As the president occupies the Oval Office, his entire family moves into the White House. Among them is his wife, who is now the first lady of the United States.
Unlike the president, most first ladies did not devote their lives to politics, nor did they dream of calling 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue home. Melania Trump, former model; Michelle Obama, former attorney; and Laura Bush, former librarian, are all stark examples of women who led lives separate from politics and public office. They never threw their hat into the ring but were rather roped into the spotlight by the election of their husbands. Consequently, some were unprepared and overwhelmed when taking on the task, leading some to fare better than others.
As the highest-ranking unelected officials in U.S. politics, these women assume an important but unclear role. With no specified or legally attributed responsibilities articulated for them, the position has always been up for interpretation — and each first lady has made it her own. As such, it has evolved throughout the centuries, culminating in the contemporary, at times mismatched, standard of what these women can and ought to be: a housewife, a changemaker, and a public figure. Due to these broad, ambiguous, and misogynistic expectations, this position has become an unconquerable task for women with disparate backgrounds who are often unacquainted with public service. The public’s fixation on their lifestyle further exacerbates this pressure to achieve and represents the lopsided scrutiny on women in positions of power.
Initially, the job comprised nothing more than supporting the president. First ladies did not embark on self-directed projects but rather augmented their husbands’ efforts by taking on more traditional, gendered roles, such as hosting dinner parties, entertaining guests, and taking care of the house.
However, when Eleanor Roosevelt took on the mantle in 1933, she redefined what it meant to be the first lady of the United States. Realizing the tremendous amount of power, influence, and connections she had as first lady, Roosevelt dedicated herself to major projects and initiatives, one of which included her significant contributions to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Outspoken, passionate, and at times controversial, she was a trailblazer.
Though revolutionary at the time, this new standard was to become the norm. With other remarkable women following in Roosevelt’s footsteps, this zest for service and ability to achieve is now expected of whoever stands next to the president on Inauguration Day. Throughout the years, this work has manifested in different ways, each woman pursuing her own interests. Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move!” initiative, Melania Trump’s “Be Best,” and Barbara Bush’s Foundation for Family Literacy are all examples of movements that first ladies have pioneered. Accustomed to such robust engagement, the public has now deemed a lack of involvement from the first lady as unacceptable.
That being said, the public’s standard for what a first lady should be extends far beyond their undertaking of initiatives, as evidenced by the scrutiny that they’re subjected to in all areas of life. From fashion choices to parenting decisions, the media often latches onto private, somewhat trivial minutiae. Oftentimes, coverage of these powerful women perversely reads more like celebrity tabloids than actual news.
For instance, a first lady’s wardrobe has become of the utmost importance at every event. After Jackie Kennedy established herself as a fashion icon, first ladies were expected to dress to the nines and make a statement every time they went out. Even after ending their tenure as first lady, they remain under scrutiny, as demonstrated by the dissection of Michelle Obama’s fashion choices at President Joe Biden’s inauguration. Although this phenomenon has paved the way for political statements, the featuring of POC and underrepresented designers, and overall great fashion, it has focused heaps of energy, conversations, and articles on the way that first ladies look. Meanwhile, their male counterparts are ignored in their unproblematic navy suits.
Additionally, a first lady’s personality is consistently cross-examined. Partaking in a myriad of interviews, press conferences, and other public events, their charisma and way around people is put to the test daily. Seldom having experience with public relations prior to the role, first ladies are — once again — held to an unfair standard. Furthermore, this emphasis on a first lady’s warmth and politeness is akin to traditional motherly characteristics such as tenderness, care, and demureness when taking care of children. Whereas no one flinches when senators or presidents raise their voices in frustration, women grab national attention if they’re anything but docile. Michelle Obama, for instance, often battled the “angry black woman” trope whenever she spoke her mind. These trends are expectations that are deeply entrenched in misogyny and outdated gender roles.
Although decorum, self-presentation, and propriety are important in such visible and high-ranking positions, it is impossible to deny that these criteria are not reflected equally when discussing men in public office. It’s interesting to think about what would have happened had former President Bill Clinton assumed the inaugural role of first gentleman in 2016. Despite expectations for him to spearhead initiatives and participate in public service, he probably wouldn’t have been held to sky-high standards of decorum, personality, charisma, fashion, and housekeeping.
This then begs the question of what it is the public really wants and expects from a first lady. If Americans want someone who mobilizes resources to affect positive change, then none of the aforementioned categories are relevant criteria on which one can judge their successes and failures. After all, fashion and grace are not what will terminate child illiteracy. However, if decorum is what should be prioritized, it’s time to expand this benchmark to all public officials and reevaluate the sexist undertones of such expectations.
At this time, however, public scrutiny forces first ladies to be jacks of all trades, leveling an unfair standard that is rooted in their gender identity. Despite them not being fashion connoisseurs, interior designers, or motivational speakers, first ladies are expected to stun in their outfits on state visits, dazzle with their White House Christmas decorations, and inspire millions on the daily through their flagship initiatives. Without undervaluing the significance of these moments, it’s important to recognize the often overlooked and unsolicited weight placed on these women’s shoulders.
Nonetheless, it is important to note that although some of these women have no prior background in community organizing and project management, they do have significant influence, budget, and institutional resources as first ladies. So, although the expectations are high, so are the opportunities to fulfill them. A paucity of programming is likely indicative of a lack of interest or initiative. With a sizable budget, a large team of advisors at her disposal, and an international platform, there’s no excuse for inaction. However, a degree of indifference and lethargy might be forgiven considering that, as aforementioned, this is a job for which most are unprepared. As an unpaid, unelected position, how much can the public justifiably expect from them?
In this way, the role of a first lady has become an insurmountable task. They’re expected to be political, initiative-driven, and inspiring, but at the same time nurturing, stylish, and affectionate. While these are all ideal and desirable characteristics, setting them as standards and expectations, rather than hopes and prospects, has become toxic. Not only are these expectations unachievable at times, but they are often rooted in misogyny. As such, these women should be commended for what they do achieve rather than criticized for what they don’t; expectations should be minimal and consistent across gender. Doing otherwise would be to unfairly rebuke these women for failing to reach the unreasonably high standards of a role that they did not choose for themselves.
Image by René DeAnda is licensed under the Unsplash License.
