The American Sense of Self: A British Perspective

As a British student who studies at an American university, I am often asked: what is the biggest difference between the two countries? People hear my Scottish accent or my American accent (depending on what side of the pond I am on) and treat me like I am the beacon of knowledge on cultural differences.
In reality, I am not the best person to comment on differences between Britain and America. I am neither a social scientist nor an expert on cultural differences. Furthermore, my own experience of the two countries is very narrow. I grew up in the sheltered suburbs of Glasgow, Scotland, with a brief detour when I was ten to the even more sheltered suburbs of Ontario, Canada for my mother’s one-year professional exchange. I spent my gap year in London before jetting off to the bubble of Cambridge, Massachusetts. I don’t exactly have extensive knowledge of what is British or what is American.
But, in the American way, I’ll give my opinion.
The biggest difference between America and Britain is the sense of self. Americans are much more self-centered than the Brits. I do not mean to invoke entirely negative connotations—“self-centered” is meant to be a neutral observation. If I wanted to suggest negativity, I would have used ‘selfish.’ If I wanted to be positive, I suppose I could have used ‘self-aware.’
In classrooms at Harvard, we are often told to explain points “through your own experience.” When I first started college, I didn’t think my life experiences were particularly relevant to my academic study. What did my opinions matter to a professor who had spent her life studying the subject? For the entire first semester of freshmen year, I think I spoke in class a grand total of four times—that is, except in my Shakespeare class. This was the only class in which I felt my opinions were fully informed. In sharing what I thought, I relied solely on what I had read in the text. Sharing ‘my own experiences’ involved describing productions I had seen or in which I had been involved. Conversely, in my American campaigns class, I felt that I couldn’t say what I thought of the political climate when the teacher had spent her life working on and studying campaigns. Yet, I watched my American peers share their views and personal experiences, as if what they thought mattered just as much as the professional’s opinion.
In America, individuals’ opinions do matter. Free speech is a constitutional right, and sharing experiences is a cultural norm. That is not to say that in Britain, students’ voices don’t matter (or that we don’t have freedom of speech). Small group discussion is a part of most British education, but students and teachers are less likely to bring up their personal experiences as part of these discussions.
I take the classroom as a microcosm for the broader point. Americans really value their own opinion—even if it is not informed. That is not to say that all Americans go around reciting ridiculous arguments, or that all British people only speak their minds when they have read everything there is to read on the subject. It is just that Americans say what they think a lot more. It is socially expected of individuals to have and share their points of view.
Furthermore, Americans love talking about themselves. This is, of course, true of all people, but I have found that Americans in particular tend to use themselves as the main subject of conversation—or monologue. My mother and I joke that it is very easy to have American friends; they just talk about themselves and we can stay quiet. I can go through whole ‘conversations’ with some Americans and not say a thing. Of course, this is a broad generalization. I have had two-way conversations (as well as one way conversations) with people on both sides of the Atlantic.
To be more precise, Americans are very concerned with experiences at an intensely individual level. Phrases like ‘sense of self,’ ‘self-discovery’ and ‘self-fulfillment’ are commonplace. When I first arrived in the U.S., these phrases were rather jarring. Previously, I had only heard them used in satirizing Americans. That is not to say that British people do not have self-discoveries or strive for self-fulfillment. I suppose we just call it happiness and don’t talk about it as much. In Britain, it’s seen as rude to focus too much on your own experiences in conversation. As actor Michael Caine described, “I think that what is British about me is my feelings and awareness of others and their situations. We don’t interfere. If we are heartbroken, we don’t scream in your face with tears—we go home and cry on our own.”
The sense of national identity is also very telling. Americans love America. Brits quite like Britain. “America is the best country in the world” is a phrase I have heard from so many different people: young and old, political and not political. Americans love to make everything competitive. Brits accept that sometimes we lose. We enjoy complaining about everything from the NHS (the National Health Service) and the government to lesser inconveniences such as queues in the supermarkets, and, our “favourite” (yes I used an ‘u’) topic of conversation, the weather.
Americans dream. Brits, well, don’t really. In an article for Time, Ricky Gervais, co-creator of the British sitcom The Office, and producer of its American counterpart, pointed out: “Americans are brought up to believe they can be the next president of the United States. Brits are told, ‘It won’t happen for you.’” While Americans are taught to always strive for success, British people are taught to accept and expect failure.
Yet, America is actually not successful or the best at a lot of things. America’s social mobility is worse than a lot of countries. Income is more statistically heritable than height. The U.S. has the highest cost of maternal healthcare in the world. Its education rates are falling behind the rest of the developed world. Yet, Americans, as a whole, either refuse to talk about these failings or frame the issue in the context of ‘When did America stop being the best country in the world?’ They always have to bring it back to themselves (you’ve all seen the Newsroom Clip). However, recent Pew Research Polling shows that millennials don’t believe in the greatness of their country as much as their predecessors. Maybe the national perception is shifting.
There are many reasons for these divergent conceptions of the individual and of one’s nation’s place in the world. America was designed quickly as an individualistic society, setting out to provide life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to all who came here. Britain evolved over centuries, adapting from a culture ruled by monarchs and the church to a society that began caring for its citizens through social welfare. We still have not got around to writing down our rights, but I assure you that they do exist.
To those who often ask me, I hope this answered your question about the differences between the two countries. In one, my individual opinion is perhaps the most important aspect of life; in the other, it’s rude to talk about myself too much. This is by no means the correct answer. Brits, I hope you somewhat enjoyed this article, or at least the cup of tea you had with it. Americans, I hope you won’t get all self-centered and think I am attacking you personally. I am just sharing my opinion.
Photo Credit: Accent Reduction Institute